Why him?
by WolvesRosesandDiamomds
Summary: 'Why him bells what does he have that i don't, what does he have that i won't'. 'Why Jacob you ask what do you have that he doesn't have and why on earth shouldn't i pick him go ahead Jacob go and give me give me 3 reasons why'. 'Oh bells i have so much more than three reasons'. I've sat at home on the nights you were cuddled with him bells wondering why him? why not him?


_**Why Him?**_

 _ **By MissWiseNWitty**_

 _ **Twilight Bella/Jacob Drama & Poetry**_

 **Author note: I tend to have problem with the flow of whatever I'm writing so if there's something that doesn't exactly blend well please let me know. Special thanks to my my first reviewer and follower and favorite iniquityfic for pointing this fact out. Her story's are amazing please go check those out. Her Leah and OC story are one of the best on fan fiction.**

 **For now I may just write short story's. I will probably do long stories eventually but until then I'll work on my flow while gradually increasing the length of my stories. Not all stories will be increased with every new story though if I see something is really comfortable at a certain length I may leave it.**

 **My first attempt at poetry. Not every sentence will rhyme I'm that good (yet). Hope you enjoy it**

 **Jacob thoughts in poem form when he realizes Bella screwed and used him, because that's pretty much what she did. In this fan-fiction he's really angry ,sad ,and rejected but forgiving.**

 **My fan-fictions tend to be more of the dramatic type so if you don't like it there's not much I can do for you that's just my writing style.**

 **Sorry for the long wait I haven't had much time to write but I'm back now though**

You chose him

over your best friend

a simple life

for a world with money in sight

decided to be

a dead vampire

instead of a living human being

What's so good about immortality

is it the fact you can do everything

have so many careers

for so many years

make an image for yourself

and then change and be someone else

you could've chose me

we could've been happy

I don't know why I keep torturing myself

trying to take you from someone else

it's obvious that your love for him

is your highest priority over everything

maybe I should give up

find someone else

someone that can love me for me

and not for someone I couldn't be

I miss how it used to be

when it was me and you bells

playing in a world so innocent

when the hardest thing that happened

was when I couldn't convince you

to do something

you were always so stubborn

when you made your mind up

it was like trying to get someone to stop singing

rain rain go away

come back another day

because whether or not that was sang

it would rain anyway

that how my world felt

like rain was pouring down

and no rain songs could make it stop

The pack says I should stop

that I'm torturing myself

and that you not going to help

you were my umbrella

you were the one that shielded me

when I couldn't take the rain anymore

until I could shine again

you said I said I was your sun

have you begun to prefer the cold

do you prefer his cold arms

over my warm and comforting love

I wanna shut down

stop feeling anything

like you did when your Edward disappeared

I would never leave you

nor would have deceived you

I just wanted your love

but I guess I was asking for too much

what does he have that I don't

riches and fancy boats

I may not have been rich

but I was not poor

and my love for you

could buy a store

and the oceans combined

with everything else in sight

ugh why couldn't it be me

why couldn't I be

the only thing you see

we have so much history

and I thought we were meant to be

but I guess everything isn't as it seems

you promised me we were forever

but I guess your forever

after a few century's

won't include me

after I'm long gone

you'll be somewhere along

the next generation of lives

maybe missing my sunlight

but probably enjoying the cold

wrapped in the arms of another

wrapped in the arms of your lover

I just want it to stop

is it all my fault

did I lose my chance

did it slip through my hands

it's probably prancing around

screaming no way no how

oh what a Jockster it is

giving me a chance

then demolishing it

you telling me there's a chance

then running back to his cold hands

telling me maybe we can be

and then leaving me all alone

because you were what I considered home

I think you're using me

and enjoy my misery

well as far as I can see

I mean why else would you tell me

you wanna spend time

when seeing you hurts me inside

I wish you could make up your mind

and if it's isn't me then leave me behind

I think ill be fine with just a little time

I'll probably cry

but pretend I'm alright

because that's what I always do

when I see him and you

cuddled up

like the the old lady in a shoe

you don't care about me

you just care about you

stringing me along

playing with my heart

tugging and pulling

without a doubt

of what I'm doing

when did you become so mean

what happened to me and you

we were everything

everything against anything

standing in our way

to be together

standing in our way

to be forever

but I guess every empire must fall

even those who have been together

through it all

you keep on pulling me back

you're giving me a heart attack

not physically but mentally

your hurting me without raising a pinky

too bad you'll never see

what you mean to me

if he were to leave

you still have me

I promise that you

would never be lonely

oh here we go again

what is it this time

you stumbled and fell

tripped another time

I'm surprised you haven't

fell down a well

you would think those injuries

would get to head

that maybe a life without vampires

is better instead

but no you always take him back

without consideration

what about considering

if he loves me

then why he's always leaving

and then coming back

begging me

please let us start again

why do you always take him back

have little respect for yourself like that

wake up and face the facts

one day he may not come back

I think you're doing what he does to you to me

leaving me for him and coming back

oh Jacob I'm sorry

don't you love me

love holds forgiveness

until you take it

you taken it so many times

it means nothing now

militated it

until it meant nothing

but lies of false loving

what happens when you get tired of immortality

because that's what every vampire does eventually

you've seen so many things

any you're ready to leave

but you can't control anything

especially when you perish

unworldly beauty with a dark curse

I've always wondered why vampires

don't have a heartbeat

I think it's because when they change

everything about their life is replaced

selfish that's what you are

to those who had the liberty

of knowing your once gentle heart

what about your dad who will never know

what happened to his baby girl and

where did she go

oh wait I just realized something

you just like Rebucca

stayed for a little while

then took off forever

got married to some random guy

and never came back

no matter how many times

dad and i tried to gain contact

him being a vampire makes no difference

you're still going away to fulfill your own wishes

but what about what about

the rest of us

the rest of us that got left behind

for your love

I can't believe I got an invitation

that forced to me to go out of obligation

I just want to be alone can't you see

to wallow in grief

but best friends are always at their friend wedding

I wondered what would happen

if I stood up and objected

would everyone look at me like I'm naked

or would anyone stand and help me

support the cause that you can't see

probably not

after all no one can see my thoughts

Except Edward

which is really creepy and invading privacy

Hey Bella guess what

I imprinted on you can u tell

nope you don't notice a thing

probably didn't even miss me

I still remembered the day I imprinted on you

What was a memorable day

is now covered in pain

and a hint of shame

guess what else

no wolf has ever been denied

by their imprint

well I guess I'm the first

and it really hurts

I always thought the pack was lieing

when they described the pain

of being separated from their imprint

but they weren't joking

it's physically and mentally chocking

but that's nothing compared to the fact

that you can't go back

to the one that's supposed

kiss you goodnight

and hold you tight

because she doesn't want to be in your bed

she's happy somewhere else

I'll never be to love someone else

but that's okay

but I wouldn't want to anyway

I wish I could erase the agony

of the those words whispered softly

''we can't ever be the way to want to be

and I'll never love you

that way you see

but you'll be my best friend for entirety''

but you don't wanted a best friend

you needed a lover

so that what me and my wolf

fought to be

but we lost sadly

with the price

of unbearable agony

My wolf screamed at me

don't let mate leave please

but am I supposed to do

you already chosen to leave me too

The only thing worser than the agony

was not feeling you at all

empty and gone

not there at all

all the images I saw

the day I imprinted

love , kids , being wed

ended when you were dead

although I was rejected

we used to be connected

you know how it goes when a imprint dies

their wolf will always follow

I was dieing slowly

but happily because the pain would be removed

and this would be like dream

maybe a nightmare fitted correctly

before I could die

I saw you again

and the image I saw

made me wish I could die

gone was the warmth you once had

and here was the coldness

that swallowed your body

gone was your blush

gone was your clumisness

gone were the things

that me love you deeply

and completely

The person in front of me

I didn't recognize

The person in front of me

I couldn't identify

it took away the only person

I really ever loved

and turned her into the person

I rid this world of

All this for love

Was it really worth that much

If it was the family

The pack was one unique bunch

and each of us could've given love

Are you happy now

you're a vampire too

while the rest of us

will be constantly missing you

But no matter what happens

you'll still my everything

which is both a cruse and a blessing

I feel like I've done everything

I could to win over you love

and it still wasn't enough

but that's okay

because soon I won't feel anything

why him

he was controlling and mean

and constantly made you bleed

both physically and mentally

but even though you choose him

you'll always have me

just look towards the sun when your bleeding

 **Sorry for the confusing begging it ended up matching in around the middle thanks for the commitment to read that far.**

 **Okay really really really sorry for the long wait I'm really not used to writing anything long so the longer something is the more I struggle which is why sometimes the flow or timing is off but I promise you guys I'm really trying to work on it and I will. Please be easy on me since I'm just starting off I will take long breaks but I'm not dead LOL.**


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